Defining Sex Terms Which Are Embarrassing To Ask!

New terms are coined all the time, including in the arena of sexuality, especially with the rise of social media. For example, while the word “cuck” has become an insult hurled by right-wing trolls, it is related to cuckolding, which can (and should) be a sexual activity that is hot and consensual that all parties involved enjoy. If you weren’t quite sure of what the definition of that particular word is, or if you’re unclear about terms like felching, docking, or queening, I’ve written a near-complete guide for that matter.

In addition, if you’re wondering if any given sex act is really a thing, keep in mind the wise words of Jimanekia Eborn, sex educator: “Everything is a thing, is basically what I have learned working in sex education.” In other words, you can do it if you can dream it, or at least rest assured that someone else has probably tried to do it. Here are 17 sex terms that you probably didn’t learn in sex ed, explained, with that being said.Pearl Collar
A pearl necklace is what results when someone ejaculates on or around the neck or chest of their partner, as Samantha explained to Charlotte in a memorable Sex and the City episode (yes, so that the semen is roughly where a pearl necklace is when worn). If you are not someone who likes to wear this kind of pearl necklace, feel free to stick to the preferred version of Charlotte, which can be found at Bloomingdale’s.

Play for Impact

Impact play refers to any impact on the body, from spanking to whips and crops, done for sexual gratification. Remember to pick a safe word when engaging in impact play and continually check in with each other to ensure the level of pain is desirable. Sticking to areas on the body that are secure to spank or tap on with a crop is also important, meaning fleshy, meaty areas away from the organs, such as the butt and thighs. Be sure to check out my guide to first-time BDSM tips if this sounds attractive to you.

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Getty PicturesSquirting with
Squirting is when fluid is ejaculated during sex by an individual with a vagina. Eborn says she is often asked if squirting is a myth, and she is only too happy to say that it is not, nor is it “just peeing.” Research indicates that the fluid involved comes partly from the glands of Skene, also known as the “female prostate” but more research is needed, as with many subjects that do not concentrate on a penis. Not everyone squirts, and some squirt from clitoral stimulation and some squirt from G-spot stimulation among those who do (that is, stimulation of the sensitive front wall of the vagina).


Cognitive behavioral therapy, a helpful form of talk therapy, may be familiar to you. CBT, however, refers to “cock and ball torture.” within the world of kink. This form of CBT can be therapeutic through the use of ropes, whips, or even chastity devices for individuals with penises interested in having a dominatrix inflict pain on their genitals.

Pegging Pegging

Pegging refers to when a female with a strap-on dildo penetrates a man analytically. In a Broad City episode that recently re-popularized the term, there is a now-infamous pegging scene.

About Queening

Queening, for sitting on someone’s face, is just a glamorous name. Nothing is more to it than that.

Scissoring for

Scissoring is most often considered to be the territory of same-sex, female-identified couples, also referred to as tribadism or tribbing. It’s usually seen as two partners rubbing their vulvas against each other, but as Autostraddle pointed out, it can also be described as one partner rubbing their vulva against other parts of their partner’s body (including the thighs and butt). The legs of partners intersect in the so-called “classic” scissor position so that they look like, you guessed it, scissors. Scissoring is probably hyped up by porn (especially porn made for the male gaze) as a more popular act among women who have sex with women than it actually is in real life, but many people love it.

Playing the edge

It’s easy to assume that when you first hear the term “edge play,” it refers to extreme sex acts that literally involve an edge of some kind, such as knives or needles (and yes, some people consensually incorporate those things into sex). But in this type of edge play, no sharp objects need to be involved. The term means kinky sexual acts that (consensually) push your limits to the edge, which for some can be exhilarating. What is considered edge play varies from individual to individual, as we all have our own limits and limits. For some, edge play may be psychological play, such as name-calling. Please do so with a partner you trust and use a safe word if you are going to try pushing your boundaries.

The Figging

It’s fun to know what it means, but you have to wonder if anyone actually does it. Figging is one of those sexual acts that is so interesting. Figging is the act of inserting into someone’s butthole a piece of peeled ginger, which will burn, sting, and be quite painful. Figging was allegedly created by the Greek and Roman empires as a (non-sexual) form of corporal punishment for female prisoners. The term can also refer to the general infliction of consensual pain on the anus these days.


Aftercare is a sexual practice that everyone, whether you have kinky sex or vanilla sex, should do. It’s a term created by the kink community and simply means checking in after sex with your partner(s) to ensure that all parties feel good and secure about what just went down and emotionally and physically take care of each other. This can mean cuddling, if there are any spanking bruises, bringing ice to the submissive partners and talking about what you liked or what you did not like. It really just means post-sex checking, and if anything happened, one or all parties felt strange about it, making sure it didn’t happen the next time.


To suck up semen from an orifice is to felch (using a straw is optional). For example, someone may ejaculate inside the anus of their partner and then suck their own semen with their mouth out of the anus; they may or may not swallow then. (Keep in mind that the risk of STIs, including HIV, is associated with exchanging fluids in this way.)


Cuckolding is when a person stands by as their partner has sex with someone else in a relationship. There are many ways of cuckolding: while tied up in a corner, the cuckold can look on, or the cuckold’s partner can go out on their own, have sex, and report back. For example, a wife may tell her husband all about how her other partner has a massive penis and can satisfy her in ways her husband can not. There is usually an element of humiliation involved. Yes, some men get turned on by being told that they’re sucking in bed. (Important note: Without actually doing it, it is completely possible to share sexy fantasies about cuckolding with your partner.)

Professional dominatrixes often receive applications for cuckolding sessions in which they can have their submissive watch as they have sex with another partner or tell the submissive to purchase lingerie for them to wear with someone else on a date. Although cuckolding is primarily associated with married, opposite-sex couples, regardless of sex, orientation, or relationship status, individuals can enjoy cuckolding play.


Fisting is when one partner inserts his whole hand or fist into the vagina of the other partner (or anus, for the highly talented). If you enjoy intense penetration but are dating someone with a tiny penis, remember that they have a whole fist to use.

Go slow and use plenty of lube if you’d like to try it; the fister can also wear a latex glove to keep things extra sanitary and help the hand slide into the orifice. And like any sex act, all parties are key to enjoyment with enthusiastic consent and in-the-moment communication.


Okay, so maybe this one isn’t exactly a sex act, but it often happens during sex. Queefing is when, often during or after penetration, air escapes from the vagina and makes a farting sound. This is a form of flatulence, and it is perfectly normal. “At one point in time, it happens to all of us. We laugh [about it] to keep from being embarrassed,” says Eborn.



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